Bull Meat: Fact or Fiction?
1. Bull meat is as safe to eat as chicken or goat meat.
Fiction. Bull meat is safer to eat than either chicken or goat, because bulls
can ingest and absorb up to fifteen times the dosage of antibiotics than an average goat.
That means a healthier you!
2. Eating bull genitalia can increase sexual prowess.
Fact. It's not just a delicious snack to be eaten anytime of day.
A 2002 study proved that Oklahoman men who ate Ballsville Beef Parts Bull
Testicle Tablets daily could ejaculate up to three feet further than your average Okie.
3. There's just something about Ballsville that makes beef better.
Fact. It may be the rolling Oklahoma pastures.
It may be our proximity to a factory that makes embalming fluid. Or the high quality cat food our cows eat.
Or the diligent work of the Guatemalans, whose blood and sweat go into every BBP product. Maybe they're from Nicaragua.
Or Panama. Which one has the Incans?
4. Cows feel pain when they are slaughtered.
Fiction. Humans have been eating cows for millions of years. Never once has a cow voiced a word of protest against the butcher's knife.
Not that we'd hear the cries of protest - how the heck could we hear anything over the sounds of our chainsaws as they rip into a yearling's throat!
5. The 4% foreign matter cap on our products violates public health and sanitation regulations.
Fiction. Listen, any US President will tell you that there's a big whoppin' difference between the "spirit" and the "letter" of the law.
So if the fly larvae and toe-nail Gestapo want to get all up in a hussy about our affairs, they don't know sh*t from Shinola. End of story.